The reason why i have never gave up from the very start in contemporary, is because i realised i find solace in it. Something comforting that i know i can express myself through it. Recent Modern class, Ryan mentioned about his Dad's departure. A lost of a loved one. Something close to my heart. Through this year, i have never really mentioned about dance in this space because i know writing it is an understatement. People who don't dance will never ever understand hence reading it will create judgmental situations and stereotypes, but today i figured out i needed to let certain things out.
The very first time i learn to do spins, i felt crippled. It's so easy isn't it? Everyone had a certain background, ballet, contemporary.. i had nothing. i admit i was hopeless and disappointments never failed to knock at my door each time i left the studio. Every Wednesday night might be a normal modern lesson to anyone, to me it's something close to my heart. Because every thing shared during that two hours, taught me things that i can relate to. It's the only time where i realised i am not afraid to fall and stumble, to do things that my body is foreign to. My techniques were never strong, but i told myself :" give yourself a year and try to feel the music train, stretch, love the pain, your muscles will get use to this"..
Last night, F told me that the way i did modern was very different. It's a pro and con. I know what she was referring to. To me, i realised my emotions are overwhelming when the song is right. Expressing it from the bottom of my heart instead of just dancing through it technically was what i would always do.But i realised Techniques were very important as well. I have ever imagined doing contemporary till i can cry on stage. That is something i want to feel.Especially after, when i saw a duet item and everyone backstage was tearing. I had goosebumps. I want to know how it feels like, dancing like that. I want to knw whats wrong and right with my modern. I know why i couldn let go, that was in the past and it hindered my dance but now, it's gone. I want to improve what i have now.But last night, i felt alot of pain. So i decided to just keep dancing even with the fever on. I just want to keep dancing to get it off my head. I felt alittle different in my movements, i was never so daring.
Contemporary is different from hiphop. I realise i can only truly express myself through contemporary. I dun mind feeling any pain that it gives me. Because i realise i love it. I love what it does to me. It is something beautiful that i will never let go. Split, i can do it by the end of this year. I am gonna be flexible in order to improve on my techniques.
i totally understand how that feels now..
I want to dance contemporary till i drop dead on the ground now with a high fever and my head is throbbing, i dun give a damn. I just wanna escape to find an answer.
The very first time i learn to do spins, i felt crippled. It's so easy isn't it? Everyone had a certain background, ballet, contemporary.. i had nothing. i admit i was hopeless and disappointments never failed to knock at my door each time i left the studio. Every Wednesday night might be a normal modern lesson to anyone, to me it's something close to my heart. Because every thing shared during that two hours, taught me things that i can relate to. It's the only time where i realised i am not afraid to fall and stumble, to do things that my body is foreign to. My techniques were never strong, but i told myself :" give yourself a year and try to feel the music train, stretch, love the pain, your muscles will get use to this"..
Last night, F told me that the way i did modern was very different. It's a pro and con. I know what she was referring to. To me, i realised my emotions are overwhelming when the song is right. Expressing it from the bottom of my heart instead of just dancing through it technically was what i would always do.But i realised Techniques were very important as well. I have ever imagined doing contemporary till i can cry on stage. That is something i want to feel.Especially after, when i saw a duet item and everyone backstage was tearing. I had goosebumps. I want to know how it feels like, dancing like that. I want to knw whats wrong and right with my modern. I know why i couldn let go, that was in the past and it hindered my dance but now, it's gone. I want to improve what i have now.But last night, i felt alot of pain. So i decided to just keep dancing even with the fever on. I just want to keep dancing to get it off my head. I felt alittle different in my movements, i was never so daring.
Contemporary is different from hiphop. I realise i can only truly express myself through contemporary. I dun mind feeling any pain that it gives me. Because i realise i love it. I love what it does to me. It is something beautiful that i will never let go. Split, i can do it by the end of this year. I am gonna be flexible in order to improve on my techniques.
" and i realised i have to dance, i needed to dance to get it off..."- ryan
i totally understand how that feels now..
I want to dance contemporary till i drop dead on the ground now with a high fever and my head is throbbing, i dun give a damn. I just wanna escape to find an answer.
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