"forgetting someone you love is like remembering someone you have never seen before.."

The best things are always at the cream of the top. The best girls are always the cream of the crop. So i dont get why every girl tries so hard to be indifferent. Beneath that vessel and pretty face, everyone is actually different from one another. You are you, im am me. You can never be me, and i can never be you.

Ive been feeling very out of touch lately. My emotions are roller coaster high and sometimes drop dead low in 360 degrees. I don't really like it when people just label my sadness as me being emotional. In other words, lame man's terms.. emo and whatever pessimism that comes along as me being ME. fuck off. I have my reasons. And the only reason why you are saying that im emotional or labelling me as one, is because i just show you what you wanna see, or what you perceive to see. I never confide in you anything so what makes you think you have the rights to just label all my emotions in just a split second, doing your stereotyping thing.

I know when to be happy, who to be happy with, and what's genuine happiness. Cause if it's not, i really dont see the point of me being chirpy all around you cause obviously that's not the real leycia you see. Many airplanes around, many wishes to make cause people pretend they are stars.

So what happens when a real shooting star flies past, are you gonna tell me that's an airplane wish?

gotta find it back

useful

finding a job is so difficult..even in a city like mine.. just a little dot but i aint even getting anywhere. So gotta just keep trying sending out those resumes and email!! (: probably its cause im looking for casual and part time but it beats just bumming around at home. i have a working spirit in my vessel. Its dying to get out so please *cross fingers* and get back to me alright? <3>

shall go read on the savings plans!! :> tmrow i will be an awesome telemarketer!
at least a patient one to begin with BOO haha!

this is the start where everything is done leycialy..
no more compromises, no more empathy..
and definitely no more "waiting for you"s
just "go ahead and do what's right for me"s.
i live for the people i choose to love. the rest shall disappear with the past.

oddinary

i would rather be oddinary than pretending to be extraordinary all the time.

really just fuck all of that.

happy me!

ok some organising of my life right now (:

this friday there will be the train flashmob job work thing - thats like 18 stations and 13 performances! haha doing the CHICKY DANCE !
:> that should earn me about $300-400?
17th april will be the next rehearsal for the t3 flashmob thing- that' s only $60
Every wednesday at 6 there will be the graduation broadway performance
On the 18-21st of may it would be the performance for the graduation ceremony.. So weird to perform when you are graduating..
then 22nd and 23rd will be for the changi naval base event, as game master.$110 for both days
This friday as well, the telemarketing job interview which most likely im able to clinched !! :> serweet!
guess i will be some dope telemarketer clinching insurance deals plus the commission and pay rate is not bad! hehe my boss is 24 years old ._. and shes damn flexible haha

and this online work from home job that earns up to 3000 dollars, which i just saw under the classifieds.
now i know why reading the newspapers are so important. shall start caltivating that habit! (:

and then june i will be flying off to NYC (: thats just too exciting.

however july and august..
probably start on the driving license thing.

so by the end of may i will get about ++ dollars plus HAHA!.. alright at least the money comes in?

everything is part time though

starting work now means starting work forever. i will lose that motivation real soon.
so i will give myself another 3 more years of liberation and work my arse off in uni, in order to make the wait worth while.

for now, part time jobs please !

i know the world doesnt revolves around yew and me and reality will keep that distance between us and friends, but let's find that balance and work towards together, let time decide.

but i will manage my time well

everything is just falling into place right now.. (:

i can feel that the right kind of leycia is back on track.

absence

maybe you didn know.. but last night was probably one of the best call nights we used to have (:

its been a long time since you called me first or took the initiative, be it short or long, it means alot to me. thanks baby

because when you call me, i know you miss me, and because its at night, i know im the last person you think of and misses before you go to sleep..because the whole day i didn manage to get through to you cause i was at the chalet, i figured the workload was really exhausting for you either. But you still called.


i dont need anything, i just need simple gestures and calls like this. you say you are changing, i hope you really like the metamorphosis because it would mean nothing if you dont feel the same way too.

C for that Caffeine

Its been pretty long ever since i felt like this, sleeping till dawn breaks and just wake up heavy headed, but one thing probably never change. The comfort i seek from that cup of black bitter coffee, i taste the notes of sweetness and freshness of cold hard morning just telling myself reality awaits but it can just wait till im finish with the last bit of my daily intake.

Ive been feeling the need for something, like how a habit gets cultivated within 26 days, but ive stop drinking caffeine ever since i was back from taiwan and along with many other things that i felt my emotions are going to break so many habits . That would be able to be equivalent on the amount of china crashing from your shelves. I can hear them screaming at the back of my head.

I dont feel the same anymore. For many things. I know its bleak and vague like lines marred and my thoughts just keep swirling like how ammonium reacts, how chemical reacts to produce bizarre colours. I feel so helpless when these thoughts surface. I just wanna fight for something the same way i wished someone would fight for me. But there just wasnt any model for me to replicate. Every corner sometimes can be a deadend when i look into eyes. So vulnerable and fragile but i wished that there were a saviour and not just someone who tries to be one.

i just wanna feel different from you, him. her. but everyone is just being someone else nowadays.

i dont feel you and your initiative anymore.

a roadtrip, a holiday, a get away. Just what do all these means to you? For a deep thinker like me, i guess it means some self reflection, compartmentalizing my thoughts, come back with a fresh mindset and as well a better person. It is the time where i think the most about the things that happen in SG when im away. But this time, im going to go to taiwan lighthearted. Savour on the best delicacies, taste the hints and notes of foreign food, photograph the best moments and come back to share. (: Can't wait for the Chalet! and baby wait for me alright? We can monopoly deal again!!! although i think no one reads here anymore. But as time passes by, i realise should one day anything go wrong, this will be the first place to find me. Loves peops, peace and i will bring back the good stuff. Farewell SG!