Goodbye

too late

"the truth is certain things has no meaning to me anymore. i was over it a long time ago. You know people need you only when they feel like they should."

By the way, who's that girl living my life...

do you wanna run away as well?

cause i do.
i dont even have to or wanna say anything or explain..
i just wanna scram and get lost from all situations.

anything, any person..


i had this dream last night that i fell asleep and never woke up.

for the first time, this is blissful.

im going to break down soon.

then again these are just words that in human nature, one will overlook as well.

words can be so fragile too.

just leave me be...

i will get over it.


my time is running out, so is my energy depleting every tick tock it goes..


i really cant stand this selfishness.
how can you even just be so selfish?

im not superwoman, but this year i was made one.

Just had this talk with smiling hero and i realised that indeed in the year of 2009, ive been through alot. Ive seen alot, the ugly, the beautiful and alluring sides to many things, the little hardwork and efforts in team work, suddenly all my hopes were dashed, then i picked the pieces up again and start to lead a double life. I remembered vividly saying this to someone, if only there was leycia A and leycia B, then i could fully mobilise leycia B to lead my second life that i have been struggling to maintain. Not everyone whom you actually talk about your responsibilities and the weight you shoulders can fully understand what you are going through. The pressure has been escalating, i can safely and officially say that i have never ever truly rest my mind in this year. From Gems, to the fateful departure, to my disastrous internship but somehow changed my perspectives to alot of stuff, to trainings for suntec dance comp, to the start of this semester, to 11 projects, to a 25 page report, to flying solo, to shing's departure,to see that words always fall on deaf ears, to see people fail you, and you are left hopeless but to piece every little single detail together, to stay in the library till 8 plus in school just to search for the information you need that others cant give you, or rather there is little enlightenment to anything, to sacrificing dance, to giving up on explaining of missing out on outings, to have to reject meeting of best friends, and to something else that will hit the restart button in a few more months to come in my life. The year 2009 has simply not been wonderful in any ways to me, but im thankful to it, im thankful that it has taught to me see many things clearer. I know what i want at times, but ive learn to prioritise because i know this year, i have huge responsibilities, I cant simply throw and chuck them away as and when i like and cause others to suffer. But at the end of the day, i realise im the one suffering the exhaustion. I guess its human nature, its either person A sacrifices and Person B gets away with the freedom or vice versa. One thing that i guess i have learn to tolerate is empty promises. I ve realised that at the end of the day, you have only yourself to blame and when empty promises are like " words that spoke louder than actions", you come to your senses and decides to shut all doors and get the job done by yourself.

In the year 2009, i have learn alot, i have learn to depend on myself, but ive lost my trust to alot of those who betrayed their words and they dont even know it. I guess its going to take some time to heal. The tough will always get going.. I know somehow, somewhere deep within me, there's something different and i will prove it. Sometimes, trying to be inside another person's world, just by the mentioning of this sentence feels so fragile and futile.

the truth is you can never be in another person's world or life..
you can only be there for that person.

i secretly love taxi drivers who knows when to shut up and be silent.

Bittersweet

im beginning to realise that its after the drinking and partying, but yet a sober self of yours laying in a taxi, chasing the raindrops past midnight

you take a drive on somebody else's car and the outside is pouring..

that feeling.. is inexplicable.

all memories come rushing back like an unstoppable pressure.
it only works when you are sober and the rest is dead drunk.

that was a year ago...

after yesterday night late at the stadium, i took a taxi.. drove past a familiar route..
that feeling came back once again.

but i guess the only difference is..

im not that girl anymore.

so much have changed ..oh boy..


glad that i manage to meet up with DNJH at least for a short while :>
really missed the old times where we just hanged out and chill like the world didn exist.
thanks buddy.
you are the best. it was great to see you.

im not joking

My world

everything in this world is a sheer bliss of turquoise, flora and all fauna in violet luminous lights.

just a moment or presence in such an ethereal dimension will lift my spirits.

only those who knows , know.

1:52-2:52

never ending

fck im really damn damn drained. i cant be bothered with anything else. yesterday i had training at ten in the morning till 12 in the afternoon do project and we chiong till 2 am.. and just one more day we can get it printed and done. tonight its till 2 am again and then off to finish up gaming and cruise.


oh and on top of that, i sat on the floor last night using xq's laptop for a close prox of 5 hours and my back now is having this almighty piercing pain. tmrow i still have street jazz ,hiphop and modern training.
i need to learn to manage my time well, afterall i lead a double life :<

:( what's going on with me.

i swear it's

so haywired. @#$@$#

Yuletide

"Fill a cup to its brim and it is easily spilled..
if it's already full, what else can you provide for..

窗外的天气
就像是 你多变的表情
下雨了 雨陪我哭泣
看不清 我也不想看清
离开你 我安静的抽离
不忍揭晓的剧情
我的泪流在心里 学会放弃
听雨的声音 一滴滴清晰
你的呼吸象雨滴渗入我的爱里
真希望雨能下不停
让想念继续 让爱变透明
我爱上给我勇气的 Rainie love
窗外的雨滴 一滴滴累积
久违的雨滴 一滴滴累积
屋内的湿气象储存爱你的记忆
真希望 雨能下不停
雨爱的秘密 能一直延续
我相信 我将会看到
彩虹的美丽
冷冷的空气 很窒息
我无法呼吸
一万颗雨滴的距离
很彻底
让爱消失无息









hahas
that voice is not mine. D:
hehe

i realised that my eyes tell a thousand words, this was captured by a friend. I cant even remember what we were saying at all, but i bet i truly felt what she was saying. which explains why i was so gleeful.

speaking of which,
baby

happy 3rd month :>

avatar with you was avatarish.
<3

"sometimes living a double life can be life threatening yet so thrilling.."

i love to appreciate silence when its golden.
i love to listen more than to speak
i love to look out at the skies after rushing a 2000 words report and realised what i've missed out all day
i love the adrenaline rush when im on stage
i love to chase after raindrops pelting down the window panes.
i love it when i dont have to say anything and people understand and get it on rare occasions.
i love it when im around genuine people
i love to see daddy holding their daughter's hands when they cross roads
i love my memories, the good and bad ones
i love it how momentarily my mind teleports me to another world secretly on my own during train rides, one that no one knows or can comprehend when i explain.
i love it when i remember to spray perfume before i head out.


but
im beginning to realise that my love for it is fading ever since the workload is piling and the more i try to get understanding and cooperation from anything, anyone around me, the less i receive.
i finally understand what's it like to feel helpless in trying to voice out. i've been missing out on life's simple pleasures.. i hope it rains tonight..

i need that nostalgia.

when i sneeze, i can feel every part of my body aching.. This is bad. Forgot to stretch. And most importantly mommy is leaving tomorrow for HK. The one i was suppose to embark on but because i cant leave my huge responsibilities behind, i figured sacrifices are calling from all walls like crawling vamps trying to feed on my blood.

i really dont know whats wrong with me these days.. i only know something is wrong with my body. Need to go check it out, even my heartbeat is faster than a normal person should be beating.

Can't fight the adrenaline rush nor the pace of my heart. :> hahas

ok back to my oh so lovely projects. This sem is some kick buster. 7-9 Jan is open house, waack, street j and Hiphop. My left fourth rib bone, back arch shoulder bones, inner thigh muscle, triceps all hurts like fcking mad. Hence, i try my best not to sneeze.

till then, i wont be blogging as much.Zero Social Life's whats going on.

ps: i like the fact that i have understanding friends.
they are those that wont leave you in times when you cant meet them because of school work.
i have in total cancelled 12 dates.
FTW

and christmas is in a week's time. I dont feel any of it at all. Guess shing at NY will be seeing some awesome snow. I wanna see snow too! Maybe i will go tissuefy my room now.

:(


*these projs are driving me crazeh

"There is an inner beauty about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn’t thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and go on."

I've been kidnapped by time.. umpteen times..
about time to release me..

D for drug

its funny how you know.. people try to take advantage of you but still think that you are an easy push over all the time. Sometimes i feel like they can really get away with it, when im soft hearted but the thing is, im no push over. and this time, im affirmative that you have gotten yourself into deep waters. Even i cant save you anymore because i realised i'm actually done trying to be the nice person, done trying to piece the things up together. Especially at this period, i realise that i cant afford to be selfless anymore, im afraid my body literally cannot make it to the finishing line.. like literally..no joke..vomitted twice today, took some antacid pills and literally just had one meal today but cruise proj discussion was seriously productive. (: Happy that we created the " orthodox omen" .. Its some cool shit stuff, think we should sell the idea to some theme park, i would totally go for it.

time to change for the better, dont say ive not warn you.
im pretty sure you wouldn like the outcome if this goes on any further.

sometimes i really dont get it why i fcking still care, when people actually trample over my feelings, take advantage of my capabilities but i still do have a sense of empathy, standing in their shoes thinking " hey i guess she must have her reasons and..."

then when i look into the mirror, i realised..
no one is going to do the same for you

i decided to stop once and for all.

speaking of looking at the mirror,

as days go by, i see my colours fading...
its like im missing my "drug"

from today onwards, i shall be sad no more.
(: only happiness
like how im going to eliminate those nasty white cells heh.

i m gonna be ok!

My heart is beating its way to hypotension.

i received some not-so-good- news.
i wanted to share it with you
but guess the phonecall just didn ended so well that i decided not to.
the whites are more than the red ones. i hope this isnt so.

Its my life..i decide.

i need to dance, i gotta dance. But here comes reality speaking to me :,

"You are your own time machine"

thanks to my aweshomest auddball.. it made me realised..

its just 10 more weeks and i am free.

IN THE MIDST of all of this, there is still open house
dancer vs school freak

no more time to squeeze for anything else i swear.

sometimes you look at some people and you just can't help wondering that they wouldn't understand what you are going through only till they actually go through it themselves.. you are just experiencing something earlier and sooner that life will give it to them in the future. everyone will get it somehow some day, just how tedious will it be and how you can handle it.
your life, you choose.

people fail you, dont fail yourself, suck it up and get the job done.
If you are going through hell, make it a great one.
Karma always exist. its just a sooner or later thing.

she was damn awesome in the movie.
makes me wanna go to the war and stop being so melancholic over silly trivial matters in life.
im so not stress in my course and i can totally overcome all modules.
nothing beats going to war.

you gotta catch it.

So far ive fought these few battles( highlighted), more to come man. ( sigh)

18 nov- cruise test lec 1-4
20 nov- Gaming operations Case study assignment deadline
21 Nov- Pulau Ubin Mcc Field Trip for Project
23 nov- Facilities Management Test
25 Nov- Intro to Gaming Test
30 Nov- Spa Field Trip Report
30 Nov- Club Management Test
1 Dec- Spa and Wellness Management Test
4 Dec- Destination Planning and Development Field Trip Reflection
4dec- 22 dec ( TERM BREAK = CHIONG PROJ TIME FOR SUBMISSIONS WHEN SCHOOL REOPENS)
28dec-Spa and wellness management Project Reflection
31 Dec- Club Management Second life Assignment
6 Jan- Cruise Business Project Submission
8 Jan- Club Management- Second life assignment
8 Jan- Intro to Gaming Project Submission
11 Jan- Club Management second life assignment
11 jan Club Management Project Submission
11 jan- Destination and Planning and Development Project Submission
11-15 jan- introduction to gaming operations Group Presentations
15 jan- Destination and Planning and Development Project Reflection (Individual)
20 Jan- Cruise Business Interview
22 jan- Club Management - Interview
18-22 jan - Spa and wellness management - Proj Interview
25 Jan- Facitlities Management Project Submission
25-29 Jan- Facilities Management


FINAL YEAR EXAMS for all 6 modules

s t r o n g e r

i will search for it but this time ,alone. i'm pretty sure i can cope with this without anyone else. so fuck yeah dun you worry peops.
damn..this few weeks has been real unhealthy.

"today something happened. " plop" a heavy thud goes her heavy bundle of notes and she just cowered in one corner and couldn stop crying for quite a while. Her neighbors heard screams and banging..wondering what's going on.. then she wiped away those tears, walked out of the room and pretend like nothing ever happened and continued doing what she was supposed and have to do. oh she googled "depression" as well just to make sure she wasn't that pathetic just yet" - Elicia

Elicia :"damn you poor worthless thing, i really feel for you. Go ahead and cry your fucking heart out."
Leycia : " and after that, what should i do then?"
Elicia :" lie like you should"

what i want is someone who shares something more than just common with me, who understands me completely and even if i dont have to say it, i don't have to show it, some part of her will know.Someone who i will never have to lie to just to hide my real feelings.
i want a twin.The last person on earth who assumes my emotions or judge me. Someone who will never hurt me.
What i want is selfish, because somehow i am tired of being unselfish in this selfish world. You want what's impossible because you can't find it in reality. Not even close , not even a trace of this existence.

What i want, you can't give me. because slowly and unknowingly, i am becoming less of a priority.

"NONCHALANT WAS NEVER NATURALLY AN ADJECTIVE THAT CAME , IT WAS MADE."
i hate how everything i do, everything i think of is partially influenced by _____.
i am trying my utmost best to be as busy( even though i really am but i still miss you) so i won't have to swallow this " natural " occurrence that i have to accept. And because of this, i learned to be nonchalant towards any affection showered, because this is a new thing called self protection. Eventually it's going to break either's heart. I want to prepare for departure like how i should. It's not a stage rehearsal. Don't say i never tried.

because its spelt like that in the first place..

the truth is im tired of waiting for you.

apart from everything else, i am broken.
( if you pay attention to the signs)

SE7EN

(:

<3

Click on the cage

Feed me!! (: hahas sorry for the lack of concern and total negligence, do me the favour of taking care of it when im so busy HAHA

off for club paper :(

Because you are coming home soon..

and nothing can be better than that.

So proud of and happy for

yew.

its 3 am

and after a while when the pain stops.. i feel so numb.
i could cry even with my eyes close, tears would just flow..
as much as i refuse to admit..
i have certainly raised the white flag.
i can't do this anymore. i am utterly exhausted.

i remembered hearing this :" nobody can ever walk out of a relationship saying that he/she is ok..because ultimately they will not be".
at first i didn believe it, because i handled all my heartbreaks and relationships strongly, nonchalantly and just act as if nothing happened the day after.. now i finally understand how it feels like when one person can have so much influence on you..
i am afraid of this slightest idea, therefore i pretend that i don't miss you when i actually really do. Come home soon, ley is waiting.

heartless

So how come now, when everything is imperfect
I don't wake up crying?

nerdy for you

keeping it inside.. who's my mirror?

something really unusual that i realised in my recent posts... nothing speaks about how i feel.. no reflections.. no nothing.. just the usual " you will get to know my emotions through my face" talking..

the heart has been quite silent.

its really getting unhealthy everyday to just stare at these lecture notes... or the screen researching my life away.. when deep down.. something else is banging profusely on the doors to get out..



raging..

<3

610th post

i realised that if one day rouge-venomity is gone or suddenly malfunctioned and self destruct.. a piece of me will feel like its missing. After all, this place was where i picked all the pieces, started out dancing and found the person i love.

speaking of which.. show you all something HAHA!! ( i cant stop laughing when i was bucketing this photo)



and at days like this..

i am thankful (:

2nd Month

The kind of guy who cries whenever he feels
sad or broken up inside or happy
he’d let me dry his tears because I wanted to
and let me comfort him any time he needed
grace


if need be he’ll leave me alone and give me my own
space

The kind of guy who loves every single part of me
for being every single part of me on their own with nothing special
because ‘I’m everything special already’ he
says.

-Le love


Baby, its been actually more than 2 months way before we even knew each other (:

but everyday has been blissful.
despite distances, we still made time for each other.

You'r gonna leave to Melbourne soon to compete. Excited for you yet worried for your safety hahas ._.

but enjoy k!! love you (:

no mushy cheesy lines, just my genuine heartfelt words.

gonna see you later. nothing about that can go wrong despite our busy schedules <3

FML , SO LEISURE RESORT MGT -FIED

by the way just a summary of what's going on in my life..

18 nov- cruise test lec 1-4
20 nov- Gaming operations Case study assignment deadline
21 Nov- Pulau Ubin Mcc Field Trip for Project
23 nov- Facilities Management Test
25 Nov- Intro to Gaming Test
30 Nov- Spa Field Trip Report
30 Nov- Club Management Test
1 Dec- Spa and Wellness Management Test
4 Dec- Destination Planning and Development Field Trip Reflection
4dec- 22 dec ( TERM BREAK = CHIONG PROJ TIME FOR SUBMISSIONS WHEN SCHOOL REOPENS)
28dec-Spa and wellness management Project Reflection
31 Dec- Club Management Second life Assignment
6 Jan- Cruise Business Project Submission
8 Jan- Club Management- Second life assignment
8 Jan- Intro to Gaming Project Submission
11 Jan- Club Management second life assignment
11 jan Club Management Project Submission
11 jan- Destination and Planning and Development Project Submission
11-15 jan- introduction to gaming operations Group Presentations
15 jan- Destination and Planning and Development Project Reflection (Individual)
20 Jan- Cruise Business Interview
22 jan- Club Management - Interview
18-22 jan - Spa and wellness management - Proj Interview
25 Jan- Facitlities Management Project Submission
25-29 Jan- Facilities Management

then FINAL YEAR EXAMS for all 6 modules.

this is the reason why i have every reason to jump down the building... and the reason why i am MIA-ing from the dance world.
i have all this to clear before i can dance again

seriously

Fuck.

koonz

忘れないよ

青山テルマ






忘れないよ..

だから今日もあの日のように
待ってるよ。待ってるよ。
寂しいけど...

i'm on a killer thrill ride.. wanna hop on?

まもりたい..

all you wanted..

"She said that she wanted to get high. He took her to the tallest hill in town. She said that she wanted to stay up all night and drink. He gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated pepsi and said “drink up.” She said that she wanted to shoot herself in the face. He gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger, aimed it at her face, and helped her pull the trigger. She said that she wanted to cut herself. He took a polaroid of her, handed it to her along with scissors, and had her cut it up. She said that she wanted to see her blood. He took her to get her ears pierced. She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep. He had her watch a sad, romantic movie before bed. She said that she wanted to be alone. He gave her a name tag that said “my name is: alone.” She said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always. He asked when he wasn’t…"

feel so drowsy ..

:(

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake and miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me.
I'd send a postcard to you dear,
'Cause I wish you were here.

I'll watch the night turn light blue.
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find repose in new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.


saw from btp's tumblr! i really love the sweet lyrics..

sometimes.. being sick does slow your thoughts down and you begin to take a look around only to realise how fast you have taken your life and burdens along with you..
when in actual fact..
everything can be solved

one step at a time..

was i running too fast like i always do?

who's to chase?

unknowingly..

"I am getting used to this thing called what you are getting me to get use with..."


where were you when i needed you the most?

sometimes.. i just wanna learn the rules then break some..

sometimes... i just wanna think with my mind and not with my heart.( that has been done for the past few days and im getting use to it.)

sometimes... i wanna feel like nothing can bring me down.. that includes no one.

sometimes...i just wanna feel like im still worth it..of anything..

sometimes.. i wanna feel that i dont have to rely on anyone else but myself.. so i wont get hurt..

just sometimes...

i just wanna hide a while, camouflaged in the Grey clouds with the stars..

i shall be that independent leycia all over again.

totally can survive on my own small 6.5 feet and stand tall.

sooner or later...

today after school i am super determine to go jog alone or do something alone. I feel so deprived of something. I have no idea what it is, but i only know that i am exhausted. Definitely. because yesterday i totally CMI ed at 1am ( considered early already) and wanted ta set my alarm at 7 am this morning but i woke up 2 hours later which was at 9. ftw. i didn even hear the alarm can? its ai otsuka for god sake, those that will make you wake up to her super high pitch tone. ( but i didn -_-) and i had some super pow wow fever that creates this throbbing at the back of my head yesterday during stage run. (: super awesome. So today i vow after lecture, i will chiong all the research due on friday, end my last paragraph of case study arrange it, print then go for some real kick ass jogging to get away from my fished up life.

ps: i forgot all bout my grandma's 86th birthday and i was doing project then at rehearsal during that whole time. EVERY body was there. The guilt could fcking kill me.

Black lips

MY first prop art cartoon, inspired by peyton's sketches.
Season 7 is so lull without her >:

was wondering if i should change this to be my banner
instead of unhealthy anorexic yin yang sisters. hahahs

anyway i came across this...

(Peyton and Lucas in a Hotel room.)

Peyton : Okay, open your eyes.

Lucas : This is the roome where .....----......

Peyton : You proposed to me four years ago.

Lucas : Yeah.

Peyton : You said it should be like a dream, so ..... I have this dream where we're back in the hotel room, and you propose to me, and every single time, I say yes.

Lucas : It's just a dream right ?

Peyton : But it's my dream.

Thought i'd never said this, Halloween was spent on a rainy night..

ill..caught a cold

but i felt very loved.


i will open up to you eventually.
baby, give me some time cause you'r the one.
i like the way you watch me sleep on a rainy bus ride listening to medleys..
personifying safety just lying in your arms and all my worries cease from the rest of the world...

Projects been piling up..

but one thing's for sure.

i will burn them down one by one.

motivated because of you, motivated because of family.

Back to research!

what are the odds?

I need to hold on to my promises and stop lying to make them come true when all that's left
is an "empty" as their adjective.

it's hellova crazy phaze everyday

dream a little dream of me...


and when all falls down..
i still got one.

and that's

y e w

6 Bloodsuckers

6 core modules

Projects and individual assignments
piling up back to back

i'm too tired for anything else.
and when i mean anything else, i even mean eating time.

there goes everything else as well

FTW

don't ask

有一点累了。。只是有一点

what i need is that moment.. but as soon as it disappears like sand trickling down my hourglass.. you can never tilt it back. the feeling is just different. everything after that doesn't matter neither can it be salvaged. Smile and it will be alright again.

the truth is, what's buried underneath the sand is nothing but a layer of facade.

Sometimes secrets are not meant to be known,

let it be that way.
probing it any further wont bring you anywhere ...

I FEEL SO HAPPY FOR PARK BOM!! (:

hahas after finally going through auditions and umpteen failures, she finally debute in 2NE1 after co-starring in Lee Hyori's Anystar.
Love her voice ( not typical cutesy,another gb material kind of vocal )

Whilst filing in my lectures for the second week of school, i realised that i am this close____ to suffering from depression before next fall march comes.

hahas tell me about it when march or april comes, i may not even be around to feel anything else.
:')

somethings should be left unsaid.
anyway stop asking me if the previous post is written by me...yes it's written by none other than MOI.

I just felt that i needed to write it, not surprising the sudden change of blogging.

the most beautiful thing that caught my eye today was standing outside the glass doors of a bridal shop looking at this "bride to be" fitting her gown.

That smile on her face, unforgettable.

I need my slumber.
and i love yew. (:

Thanks for being there when i needed you the most.
Cherish whatever time we have left <3

Yesterday, it was the first time i felt excruciating pain. Losing protection again and again has made me finally realised it's time to face the truth. Nothing that i have ever voiced out deserves to be reckon with. I found that comfort in our silence when you just pulled me in and i cried, i felt your tears falling on my arms and you never gave up even if i locked 80 doors on you. You know what's truly going on, you know what we are in for, i am so sorry for always fencing you out. i will never bother what others look upon, dwell upon or judged upon because nothing matters so long as i know how i am going to deal with it. This one's got me. There is every little chance that i can do or try baby, i won't give up for us. Love while we can.

This semester's aint gonna be easy.

alot's going on recently.. none's comparable to one.

i'm really exhausted.

this is love..

No strings Attached..

In one harajuku morning, where petals of cherry sakuras danced in swirls one after another... sitting at the heart of a hundred acre tree, punctuations after another, the comma, the full stop, the "!" which eventually led to a "?", everything was held flamboyantly at the end of each sentences..

Hands warmed in her fuchsia woolen gloves, Elicia settled with the 7th chapter from " the history of love". Deep in thought, a fuzzy tingle received from the autumn breeze broke the comforting silence. Traces of thoughts were swept across like the petals that have fallen gracefully. A beauty personified.

A small bulge could be felt from the pockets of her Zara coat.Her gloves that were left wrinkled when taken off was a queer gesture that she had sworn " Dejavu" would have been it for the umpteen times. An unbreakable habit. Sugar Sachets. Ha. "What else could have been it..", as she chuckles silently to this moment of sweet reminisce. Evidently, she drop the last two sachets to a cookie jar. Picky to this particular secret, it was brown sugar as only the closest one would have ever known. The unspoken would embark on a discovery for centuries if they would have never bothered to ask.

Giving the jar a little shake, the sachets tumbled and fell into place. Starbucks, Gloria Jeans, the small granular ones from the latte cafe across the street, anonymous wrappers that were randomly collected on "rainy" days; they were memories of hers. A closure that she only knew. "No strings attached" was the only way she would ever depict life. Deep in superficiality, sweetener could never ever replaced these old condiments.

How she would always enter perfume shops and grab a tester strip just to bookmark her books,she placed ' love etc" strip at page 36 and proceed to tear the corners of one sugar sachet. Vanilla Latte, simply furnished with a thick froth of luxurious foam would be soon identified. Granulas fell from the torn corners on to the froth, resembling snowflakes on a white Russian Christmas.

One deep sip, and she turn to the back of the sachet wrapper....

even though the wrapper didn said so... she proceed to say:

" this one taste just like... love."

Bittersweet.


She scribbled on the wrapper and left it under the tree. Moments after, fists clutched tightly to her baggage, departed to catch a flight of no return at the airport.




Ps: " should you ever travel around the world, bring me one sugar sachet from any cafe you stop by.. let it remind you of me.. for that instant..something that had no meaning could be brought to life . All it takes is just one packet of brown sugar.. and you will know how deep my footprints have left themselves when we crossed paths for the very first and last time"

Love, Elicia..

__________________

A secret revealed.

Sy, this is for you. hahas i finally wrote it after much thoughts at the terminal.

Thanks for making my day better. Hope you like this story that i dedicated to you and to all my friends and lovers around me.

小时候，妈妈常说不要吃太多糖。。由此是考试的时候。。因为糖原本就能让一个人失忆。。


i guess thats the reason why i never listened.

lights off

Punctuations

? ! , .


Which one do you like most..

and the only hawtest person ever..

I HEART TAEYANG!!!!

of course TOP is second (:

shaun evaristo and lyle beniga!

your dancers.

This mv's too dope for the day.

You are currently staring at the cutest creature on earth. (:

okok! at least to me..if you are not a cat lover.. then this is really not for you.

Have always wanted a black cat and a white cat with blue eyes ( after kupo)..
They make quite a pair.

27th Oct- Comm Based Performance
6th Nov- SP concert
13 Nov- Dreams production


Time to hit the books (:

This Blog should be rated everytime i am upset ! hahas (: No reading for under 16 or your children will most likely wear thick eyeliners, black nail polish, jet black hair and have haircuts that barely show the edge of their faces -_-

Ok :( Nvm, i know leycia deserves to be slapped so hard. hahas! But the day when leycia is not sad, that doesn make her, her already right??? Finding excuses all over her trunk. hahas (: I am so determine to read finish the current book but my schedule permits me to and financial crisis :( Need to start saving. Ok i have a saving plan which means BENTO!!! (: hahas! I love those Bento Days! BTP!!! YOU CAN BE called " BENTO PARTNER" also. hahas

Anw, i just wanna shower everyone with " thank yous" confetti. (: Heh I didn see it coming seriously. Shock of my life ._. Thank you BTP, Lav, Suria, Keiths, Kev, Ayo! and most importantly my superman which told me he was on "OFFDAY" yesterday. I thought you pang kang??? huh? Why suddenly come out with your red undies and save the day???! (: lol I love every gift that was in the bag, the balloon, Scrump!!, shutter shades, notebook with the awesome doodles in the world,Candies, Black forest Cake that made my morning wish came true when i blew the candles, the presence of everyone, the treat of the meal at manpuku and your choreo to our song you danced to made me teared at marina barrage.


I used to always say :" dont be so nice to me, or we will fall so deeply and just hurt ourselves when departure arrives" and i said it again last night but this time i realise i wanted you to be there more than anyone else. Nothing is complete when you are not around. It took me quite long to realise that, just denying this fact all the while. But im going to try this thing called" sharing" with you. Because you give me great advices, you give me great patience in explaining how you feel about my problems with your problems in the past and sometimes you just listen and i would watch you telling me how that person might have felt about it. My best present is you. I thank life for meeting you because it made me start on a learning journey. Lets learn from each other yew! I know next week is gonna be a hectic week again, please take care of yourself and i promise that i will take care of myself just so you will see a healthy me and you will not have to worry. (: Stay strong cause our love is.

Happy 19th Birthday To Me. Nothing of this would have been perfect without anyone of you. so A million thanks to turn my :( right around (:

PS: Thanks for all the facebook wishes!!!! <3

誕生日おめでとう

this is how i feel now..

if you can't contact me, dont be surprise or alarmed.

Happy First Month!! Dear <3

So much to be felt ..
The simple moments in this journey can never be replaced with any word in the English dictionary.


Once upon a time, the invisible boy who have never thought that 20th sept 2009 would be an amazing start to a chapter met a girl whose life was about to change.

私があなたのために。いかに感じるか決して記述することができない単語.

愛する

Probably one of the sweetest moments we captured at "catch a crab". A picture tells a thousand words..

Goodbye

Like sand, falling in an hour glass
Time's run out
Now all of your bags are packed
And there's no way out
Though i've been dreading this day
No, i won't ask you to stay

Chorus:
Goodbye, but i hope its not the end
I'll keep the faith, that i'll see you again
As you go, cause now is the time
Your dreams take flight
I hope in everything you do
May the Lord be your guide
Until we meet again
This is goodbye

As your page turns, to start a new chapter
Please be strong
When the nights get too cold, and days too bitter
You gotta hold on
Just think of the times we've shared
Look in your heart, and you'll find me there

chorus

Gen wrote this.
We sang it.
You heard it.
Thanks Shin , for being a great friend, a great owner, a great dancer.
You will be wherever you are.
Fine as ever. (:
See you in 6 months time at GEMS. I promise i will train hard and you will be burned HAHA!

This doesn't mean farewell.. it's just temporary departure.

People always leave....


But sometimes, they do come back.

:')

After K yesterday.. i came down with a severe bad case of gastric.. the last time i felt like this was before modern training a sem back ago. Sure there were small reactions in between that time... but nothing beats yesterday's. Swear my stomach was all churned up, i can feel my insides twisting, any moment i foresee myself vomiting . Not exaggerating. I can't even walk properly, had ta sit at the roadside block squeezing tightly to my shirt at the car park while yew went to flag a cab. I'm so sorry.. :( we had to go home earlier because of this. But i think i saw martin and chansee having a dance battle at the ice skating rink which made me laughed after we came out of the theater. We caught " imagine that". It was a great movie! (:

K was awesome yesterday. No doubt i would miss you like crazy, SHING YUK YU but i hope our little outing made a statement of how much you mean to all of us. Seeing you off at the airport in the wee morning tomorrow. This holiday has been good and bad at both spectrum. School's starting and i foresee more improper timings to eat with production and performances, projects and exams coming up. But i'm going to stay positive for this whole semester, come what may..

Till then...

(: I will just upload all auss pics slowly and daily as and when i like hahahhas! too much to upload actually ._.

This was when btp and i was suntanning during the free time before wild dolphin feeding at night.
and this is us without make up at all hahahhahs! Yeap, nobody wears makeup to suntann k -_-
which explains why i look sleepy (: hehe













ok and that was camwhoring to the MAX HAHAHAS!
and nicole keeps saying that we were suppose to take the scenery when we are on holidays and not ourselves :(

okok we were at tangalooma beach.. nah
the beach HAHA! (:


that wasn't the only pic we took of course! lol We are not so bimbotic. Serious ._.

(: Off for martin's outing! <3

and YEW.. i miss you when you were this .. no kidding... HAHA!


to be continued...