Monday, November 30, 2009

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apart from everything else, i am broken.
( if you pay attention to the signs)

SE7EN



(:

<3
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Sunday, November 29, 2009

Click on the cage



Feed me!! (: hahas sorry for the lack of concern and total negligence, do me the favour of taking care of it when im so busy HAHA

off for club paper :(

Because you are coming home soon..



and nothing can be better than that.

So proud of and happy for

yew.

Friday, November 27, 2009

its 3 am


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and after a while when the pain stops.. i feel so numb.
i could cry even with my eyes close, tears would just flow..
as much as i refuse to admit..
i have certainly raised the white flag.
i can't do this anymore. i am utterly exhausted.

i remembered hearing this :" nobody can ever walk out of a relationship saying that he/she is ok..because ultimately they will not be".
at first i didn believe it, because i handled all my heartbreaks and relationships strongly, nonchalantly and just act as if nothing happened the day after.. now i finally understand how it feels like when one person can have so much influence on you..
i am afraid of this slightest idea, therefore i pretend that i don't miss you when i actually really do.
Come home soon, ley is waiting.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

heartless

So how come now, when everything is imperfect
I don't wake up crying?



Monday, November 23, 2009

Sunday, November 22, 2009

keeping it inside.. who's my mirror?

something really unusual that i realised in my recent posts... nothing speaks about how i feel.. no reflections.. no nothing.. just the usual " you will get to know my emotions through my face" talking..

the heart has been quite silent.

its really getting unhealthy everyday to just stare at these lecture notes... or the screen researching my life away.. when deep down.. something else is banging profusely on the doors to get out..



raging..

Saturday, November 21, 2009

<3

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610th post

i realised that if one day rouge-venomity is gone or suddenly malfunctioned and self destruct.. a piece of me will feel like its missing. After all, this place was where i picked all the pieces, started out dancing and found the person i love.

speaking of which.. show you all something HAHA!! ( i cant stop laughing when i was bucketing this photo)


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and at days like this..

i am thankful (:



Thursday, November 19, 2009

2nd Month


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The kind of guy who cries whenever he feels

sad or broken up inside or happy
he’d let me dry his tears because I wanted to
and let me comfort him any time he needed
grace


if need be he’ll leave me alone and give me my own
space

The kind of guy who loves every single part of me
for being every single part of me on their own with nothing special
because ‘I’m everything special already’ he
says.

-Le love


Baby, its been actually more than 2 months way before we even knew each other (:

but everyday has been blissful.
despite distances, we still made time for each other.

You'r gonna leave to Melbourne soon to compete. Excited for you yet worried for your safety hahas ._.

but enjoy k!! love you (:

no mushy cheesy lines, just my genuine heartfelt words.

gonna see you later. nothing about that can go wrong despite our busy schedules <3

FML , SO LEISURE RESORT MGT -FIED

by the way just a summary of what's going on in my life..

18 nov- cruise test lec 1-4
20 nov- Gaming operations Case study assignment deadline
21 Nov- Pulau Ubin Mcc Field Trip for Project
23 nov- Facilities Management Test
25 Nov- Intro to Gaming Test
30 Nov- Spa Field Trip Report
30 Nov- Club Management Test
1 Dec- Spa and Wellness Management Test
4 Dec- Destination Planning and Development Field Trip Reflection
4dec- 22 dec ( TERM BREAK = CHIONG PROJ TIME FOR SUBMISSIONS WHEN SCHOOL REOPENS)
28dec-Spa and wellness management Project Reflection
31 Dec- Club Management Second life Assignment
6 Jan- Cruise Business Project Submission
8 Jan- Club Management- Second life assignment
8 Jan- Intro to Gaming Project Submission
11 Jan- Club Management second life assignment
11 jan Club Management Project Submission
11 jan- Destination and Planning and Development Project Submission
11-15 jan- introduction to gaming operations Group Presentations
15 jan- Destination and Planning and Development Project Reflection (Individual)
20 Jan- Cruise Business Interview
22 jan- Club Management - Interview
18-22 jan - Spa and wellness management - Proj Interview
25 Jan- Facitlities Management Project Submission
25-29 Jan- Facilities Management


then FINAL YEAR EXAMS for all 6 modules.

this is the reason why i have every reason to jump down the building... and the reason why i am MIA-ing from the dance world.
i have all this to clear before i can dance again

seriously

Fuck.


koonz

忘れないよ

青山テルマ






忘れないよ..

だから今日もあの日のように
待ってるよ。待ってるよ。
寂しいけど...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


i'm on a killer thrill ride.. wanna hop on?

Monday, November 16, 2009

まもりたい..

all you wanted..

"She said that she wanted to get high. He took her to the tallest hill in town. She said that she wanted to stay up all night and drink. He gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated pepsi and said “drink up.” She said that she wanted to shoot herself in the face. He gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger, aimed it at her face, and helped her pull the trigger. She said that she wanted to cut herself. He took a polaroid of her, handed it to her along with scissors, and had her cut it up. She said that she wanted to see her blood. He took her to get her ears pierced. She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep. He had her watch a sad, romantic movie before bed. She said that she wanted to be alone. He gave her a name tag that said “my name is: alone.” She said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always. He asked when he wasn’t…"

Saturday, November 14, 2009

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feel so drowsy ..

:(


The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake and miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me.
I'd send a postcard to you dear,
'Cause I wish you were here.

I'll watch the night turn light blue.
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find repose in new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.



saw from btp's tumblr! i really love the sweet lyrics..

sometimes.. being sick does slow your thoughts down and you begin to take a look around only to realise how fast you have taken your life and burdens along with you..
when in actual fact..
everything can be solved

one step at a time..

was i running too fast like i always do?

who's to chase?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

unknowingly..



"I am getting used to this thing called what you are getting me to get use with..."


where were you when i needed you the most?






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sometimes.. i just wanna learn the rules then break some..

sometimes... i just wanna think with my mind and not with my heart.( that has been done for the past few days and im getting use to it.)

sometimes... i wanna feel like nothing can bring me down.. that includes no one.

sometimes...i just wanna feel like im still worth it..of anything..

sometimes.. i wanna feel that i dont have to rely on anyone else but myself.. so i wont get hurt..

just sometimes...

i just wanna hide a while, camouflaged in the Grey clouds with the stars..

i shall be that independent leycia all over again.

totally can survive on my own small 6.5 feet and stand tall.






Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

sooner or later...

today after school i am super determine to go jog alone or do something alone. I feel so deprived of something. I have no idea what it is, but i only know that i am exhausted. Definitely. because yesterday i totally CMI ed at 1am ( considered early already) and wanted ta set my alarm at 7 am this morning but i woke up 2 hours later which was at 9. ftw. i didn even hear the alarm can? its ai otsuka for god sake, those that will make you wake up to her super high pitch tone. ( but i didn -_-) and i had some super pow wow fever that creates this throbbing at the back of my head yesterday during stage run. (: super awesome. So today i vow after lecture, i will chiong all the research due on friday, end my last paragraph of case study arrange it, print then go for some real kick ass jogging to get away from my fished up life.

ps: i forgot all bout my grandma's 86th birthday and i was doing project then at rehearsal during that whole time. EVERY body was there. The guilt could fcking kill me.


Saturday, November 7, 2009

Black lips

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MY first prop art cartoon, inspired by peyton's sketches.
Season 7 is so lull without her >:


was wondering if i should change this to be my banner
instead of unhealthy anorexic yin yang sisters. hahahs


anyway i came across this...

(Peyton and Lucas in a Hotel room.)

Peyton : Okay, open your eyes.

Lucas : This is the roome where .....----......

Peyton : You proposed to me four years ago.

Lucas : Yeah.

Peyton : You said it should be like a dream, so ..... I have this dream where we're back in the hotel room, and you propose to me, and every single time, I say yes.

Lucas : It's just a dream right ?

Peyton : But it's my dream.


Friday, November 6, 2009

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Thought i'd never said this, Halloween was spent on a rainy night..

ill..caught a cold

but i felt very loved.



i will open up to you eventually.
baby, give me some time cause you'r the one.

i like the way you watch me sleep on a rainy bus ride listening to medleys..
personifying safety just lying in your arms and all my worries cease from the rest of the world...


Projects been piling up..

but one thing's for sure.

i will burn them down one by one.

motivated because of you, motivated because of family.

Back to research!





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what are the odds?

I need to hold on to my promises and stop lying to make them come true when all that's left
is an "empty" as their adjective.


it's hellova crazy phaze everyday
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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

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dream a little dream of me...


and when all falls down..
i still got one.

and that's

y e w

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

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6 Bloodsuckers

6 core modules

Projects and individual assignments
piling up back to back

i'm too tired for anything else.
and when i mean anything else, i even mean eating time.

there goes everything else as well

FTW



Monday, November 2, 2009

don't ask

有一点累了。。只是有一点

what i need is that moment.. but as soon as it disappears like sand trickling down my hourglass.. you can never tilt it back. the feeling is just different. everything after that doesn't matter neither can it be salvaged. Smile and it will be alright again.

the truth is, what's buried underneath the sand is nothing but a layer of facade.

Sometimes secrets are not meant to be known,

let it be that way.
probing it any further wont bring you anywhere ...