I remembered a few days back, i missed the bus stop at my house and i landed all the way at the airport terminal just because i was thinking of a conversation i had with Sy.Yes girl, i was thinking of what we said after we met up at pw.
Sy:" Ting, you know every time i see your pictures on your blog, its like i can feel that you are not happy at all..There's only one picture 2 years back that i felt you were really happy then."
Sy:" Sometimes when i talk to you, i can feel that there's this soft spot in you that you are resisting to let go, to depend on others.No matter how strong you are, i can still see that softness inside"
Sy:"And you should stop running already, it gets pretty hard to catch up with you, most likely all of them will be panting by now"
Sy:" Ting, you know every time i see your pictures on your blog, its like i can feel that you are not happy at all..There's only one picture 2 years back that i felt you were really happy then."
Sy:" Sometimes when i talk to you, i can feel that there's this soft spot in you that you are resisting to let go, to depend on others.No matter how strong you are, i can still see that softness inside"
Sy:"And you should stop running already, it gets pretty hard to catch up with you, most likely all of them will be panting by now"
I believe your intention of telling me this is that i shouldn handle everything by myself yes?
I believe when you experience more, you tend to change so fast you don't even realise it. I like to reflect with you sy because i know you understand me inside out. Certain blind spot i can't see, you will tell me about it so i can be a better person. I missed that bus stop for good, giving me ample time to think if i should really stop running and look back at those who've been trying to keep up all this time. Thanks sy, i know you will be always here for me, sometimes i don't even realize who's not chasing behind me after a while neglecting the fact that it gets pretty tiring to be my friend that they've given up running.
I'm so selfish. Sorry.
last night, i dreamt again. This time, it was nothing grotesque or horrific.
I dreamt that i was playing on a grand piano at this really outdoor large auditorium with a spotlight shining down on me and i was wearing a black flowy gown that leads the way to the red carpet.Then i saw the faces of those that given up to be my friend sitting there being my audience.
afterwhich i remembered one smiled at me then i woke up.
smile to me again k. I really wished we could go back to how it was but i know we can't. I can't make up for it.
I dreamt that i was playing on a grand piano at this really outdoor large auditorium with a spotlight shining down on me and i was wearing a black flowy gown that leads the way to the red carpet.Then i saw the faces of those that given up to be my friend sitting there being my audience.
afterwhich i remembered one smiled at me then i woke up.
smile to me again k. I really wished we could go back to how it was but i know we can't. I can't make up for it.
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