LEYCEUTICAL

Decision
______

Father Father, recently i feel tired. There's this calm surreal blur that is blinding me from searching and seeking the things i want. I'm tired of initiating, and sick of asking. So let me listen, and observe. For those who will always be there for you will surface not when the problem arises but when they know when you need them the most.

Just lately, i can't confide anymore. I don't feel the need to.So if you ask me what's going on, i will just tell you:" Life what's going on. Don't bother questioning"

I'm tired and exhausted, i have a splitting headache from two consecutive days dealing with sarcasms, hypocrites, and SERVICE.I got into OGL, signed the contract. Idk what i was thinking giving up the other company for this. But one thing for sure i know this company will change everything so i signed the contract for my internship.

4 months of no dance, no life,no meet-ups. If you are close to me, you know we will never drift no matter how much i've changed, if you just take the initiative.I will probably suffer from the wrath of fatigue since working hours are 9.30 am to " anytime". If you actually understand the hidden meaning to that sentence. I'm so sick of everything around me that is why i made the 4 months decision.No dance to see how i was when i had no dance in my life. I foresee another huge change in me.

I don't need that "softness" in me to evolve. It's labelled and sealed with a word "extinct". SY, i hope you understand. This is really how i am. I'm sorry, it's getting hard for me to break down like a baby and cry in front of you.

sometimes i want to take a risk, change my life and see how things go, but i'm afraid, afraid that at the end, it leads to nothing. I need to understand certain things before i make a decision i've wanted to make a long time ago. 4 months should be more than enough time.

Peyton: ok, I am not arguing with you!
Peyton's subconscience: Oh, come on, Peyton that's what we do, OK? We have these inner conversations daily! Am I gonna look stupid? Am I pretty enough? Did Jake just want to get in my pants? Should Lucas be with me, instead of Brooke?
Peyton: No, OK you're wrong. Lucas and I are just friends and Jake loved me.
Peyton's subconscience: Whatever you say, cheerleader... whine, whine, mope, mope, always the victim! My mom died, Jake left, Ellie lied! Boo hoo.
Peyton: You really are a bitch, you know that?
Peyton's subconscience: I'm not the one who sent Ellie away. People always leave or Peyton always drives them away

after 4 months, i know i will change. Bear with me.

or

don't
.

.

.

afterall