Slept at 1 and its 4.45am now, i think i woke up at 4 am just to do some last min studying for intro leisure which i gave up on over dance the night before.Nothing gets into my head.Geez and to think that i have so many dreams recently.
Just last night, i dreamt that i crashed samm's school and she had these huge bruises on her face.Asked her why but she didnt reply me and i thought it was some sort of abuse from someone else. :/ Oh god who in the world dreams of such things.The best of all, i dreamt of performing on the stage and some person whom ive forgotten for a while was seating at the seats looking straight at me.Bits and pieces.
Ive done so much reflecting recently.Its like when you reach the limit of stress, theres simply nothing you can do about it.You will just fall sick and then recover thats all.No ones there to tell you you will get better because everyone's going through the same situation.
My schedules for everyday is just like a closet.Squeeze whatever you can in it before it topples down and falls on you.It doesnt help when you have to choose between going home to complete your work or head for that studio where you will just get so demoralised when you leave.Ive officially reached that Grey area in dance(white when im clean in my steps,black when im not stepping it up on time and my groove and control are all wrong) and no ones there to help me or tell me how to move on from here so i can do better.My dance is Blurry and Smudgy.Fck
i could really use one of those heart to heart talks now.
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