"You know it’s been said that we just don’t recognize the significant moments of our lives while they’re happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it’s usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you’ve realized how wrong you’ve been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it.."

These words dont come easy

one sentence with so many meanings.. how do you interpret it?

when you are angry, happy, sad, with anxiety...

all words that seems right falls at the wrong timing.
and all words that seems wrong came at the right timing.

i will feel the remaining pieces and take whatever thats left with me.

有的人说不清哪里好..但就是谁都替代不了....

(:

words i couldn say to you

Good bye rouge venomity.

here's where everything is done leycialy

im sorry

i should have been better in most ways, but i didn.
so its time to leave.

we didnt had time like others could.

i tried to create memories, but as time passes by.. they became unhappy ones, cause i chased them to form..
slowly... i begin to feel you are getting tired of it..
i have demanded so much from us within 5 short months

i fall as hard i try..
so forgive me.

from this moment onwards, i will set you free.
like how i wll set time free.

i fall as hard as i try..

press on

i will get through this period.. no matter how tough and difficult it is...

wipe my tears, heart stop hurting, back to my spa notes.

you know if you were busy and couldn talk to me, i was gonna be fine with it because i understood that long ago. But the thing is i hate it when you assume. Assume that u were going to affect me with my exams just by texting ? Then the whole day you dont reply. So how about or rather what if, its super stressful and i have so many papers everyday.. go on and assume that we will quarrel, thinking that my feelings are like that, you build this person in your head and made her me. All this happens because you dont trust what i tell you. I thought we cleared that issue cause im being honest right now and i dont get that response back.Now look at the situation, it became like this because you didn text and simply i really dunno if you just went back to not texting because you keep saying that you are insensitive and you are " just like that". You know, if i was really worth it, you would change that for me. Because i did tried my best to change after we talked, especially taking the initiative.All those words you wrote to me in the tissue box, there were for show? Or are they really for real?.. Trust, you mention it, i took it in.

TRUST

You left me here really thinking that you had so much going on but no who's the one still fighting with school now? I find this really pointless cause its not the first time. And i was really more of exhausted with examination than to be angry with you, but you said i needed to calm down. So how about you tell my emotions what to do and i will leave you to manipulate however you want me to feel?

thanks. I thought we really could solve this issue just between me and you but no we couldn. Sometimes it feels like im dating someone who just dont trust my words and assume that i dont need you.. i will tell you how it feels for these past few days...

it feels like i dont have a boyfriend at the times when i needed him to be there to push me on to persevere. You may not know how tiring it has been, but all you had to do was simple, be there for me. Are you going to argue now that you did said good luck and all, im really not referring to those surface lines cause that wouldn make you any difference from any of my friends.

its really not just this.. you and i know it. All these little things build up and accumulate and became a significant evidence to your lack of trust for me which results in me losing trust in us.

How about once and for all, we say " game over" in making an ass out of u and me cause i really cant take it anymore .. if being together is so difficult for you to trust me.. then let's end it.

crying, studying, and memorizing facts when your exam is tomorrow.. dont go well together.
fuck.. i really wanna fly away now..

get away from everything..
or rather i really just wanna disappear.

Mom

there is only one person in this world, that you can safely say and without any doubt, the line that many of us always take advantage of and miscomprehended the true meaning of the sentence..:" i will always be here for you."

yes, she's my pillar to whatever i do and she's none other than my awesome mum. (: We talked about our family issues, the future that awaits and the foreseen circumstances since we are going through a rough patch now for our family in terms of yes financial problems. Sometimes, i really wanna go to a University. Its a small voice that keeps growing bigger, but looking at the table spread of harsh reality, i wish i can go out and work and provide for her first. Should i? Honestly, it scares me. Not that i've never worked before, but sometimes, its quite heartache-ing when you see her waking up early preparing meals, and have to work at the day feeling tired. T really appreciate her to send me to school and yes i admit i used to take advantage of that, but for now, i really try my best to be independent in terms of transportation wise. Especially this semester, i really worked my hearts out to improve the grades so i can study better and get a better job. Efforts really paid off, especially when your own lecturer tells you that your report is second in the cohort and of university level. I almost teared but tried to hold it in, cause we really put in a lot of effort. Really thankful to my group mates especially when we didn have enough people compared to other groups (:

Yes every girl can dream, but i think its about time i put aside my dreams and plan for the reality and future because i don't want to be selfish to the one person that brought life to me.


So after cruise paper on Monday, I'm really going to sit down and plan for my future. The overseas study thing, i guess its too big an expense. As much as i want to and its my dream, but i should really think twice about it. :( Even though, i know she will agree to me going to further my studies.

thank you mummy for all the meals prepared, the shelter you provide for me all these years, i haven't been a really obedient girl ever since i was a baby. Probably the worse baby in the century.. but i promise you that the past 20 years that you provide for me, im going to provide it back to you. ilu.

part is i know i tried..

Miss independent

i really dont understand myself. Sometimes when i pull through a really tough phase, especially by myself or alone.. i will grow stronger and have this mindset or realization that i really do not need anyone actually to help me, to motivate me or just support me, cause afterall looking back.. i still did it by myself, didn't i?

and its always by myself solely

and i will start to hate myself for thinking that way.. ttm


suddenly i dont feel like studying anymore and just fuck care my papers
..


really you could have done all these :

call me to ask how was my studying.. talk to me to destress, tell me you missed me and all the things that we could do after the holidays. But you didnt we are back to square one, ( i said those things )where you will sleep.. and i will get on living my life in the day. studying, looking at my phone, hoping you would take the initiative to text, and not " jiayou, all the best for the test later" and that's it. it makes me feel like, you know in a day, thats all you can say to me. This time, i really took the initiative and keep asking you what you were doing despite my crazy mugging.

yea.. im really a lousy girlfriend aren't i?

bye

习惯

像重感冒　爱情出现
了　忽冷忽热的挣扎
才刚坐下有说有笑
一眨眼有微笑是正常
晚上一样花好几天的冷战把情绪交换
我坐立不安　怎麼比分手还难

你是我的肩膀　我就信仰
是我的温暖　有时候我在想
留在你身旁是爱你　还是爱上陪伴

习惯两个人不见不散
习惯一睁眼就寻找对方
习惯让我们懒散　不再坚强
对寂寞丧失抵抗

习惯两个人睡单人床
才能沉睡到天亮
如果你离开了
我束手无策怎麼办

总是习惯　若无其事
的　继续为爱而繁忙
究竟是装宽容大方
还是呢忍受房间空旷
我们总说时间到了就该懂得好聚好散
我坐立不安　陷入爱的拉锯战


习惯了..
怎能又　重新习惯空出的另一半


但愿我爱上的不是爱上你的习惯...

fcvked

it takes only once to see a person's true colours.
its the same logic as, trust can only be fostered once and broken once.

在对的时间里，遇到对的人，是一种幸福。
在对的时间里，遇到错的人，是一种悲伤。
在错的时间里，遇到对的人，是一种叹息。
在错的时间里，遇到错的人，是一种无奈。

amanda tanen

love her.

watching her through the seasons made me realized there's never anything thats too serious in life.
i need a bitch friend like this.

i shall not take anything too seriously and treat everything like it isnt so much of a big deal
especially when it comes to disappointments..
i will just bitch laugh and get over it.

awesome
now bitch is back to studying.or studying is being back to a bitch..
toodles

Muggerzoid

My head hurts, it feels like ive been on a hangover for the past three days. WHen i wake up, it feels like sadako is sitting on my shoulders. That heavy.. And my whole body is aching.. Never knew studying could be such a " physical" pain.

Etude

ok, its either i have been mj-ing ( domestic squabbling everyday) or i have been hitting my BIG 2 crisis. yeah, practically screams :"old or premature". I want to be forever young~ haha :(

A quick glance and i realised hey, i have been a neeny. Its like a tumblr here already.. OH MAN.. i should do some real update before my life is just scribbled through with a few lines and emo grey font quotes * underline underline*

ok to those who deosnt have any papers, SHUT UP. haha cause i have five :( But im super positive bout this cause generally i am opimistic .. yeah only academically. HAHA who am i kidding.

so * sheepishly* we shall talk about V DAY? haha St valentine's, at first before i even knew the story behind, i thought this day was for the valedictorians. cause you know V, V? hahas So yes, i shall cut down on the bimbotic-ness cause i really had a great time this year. (: all thanks to NG YEW YEW! hahas its kinda retarded if i call him a baby when he's not. He's six foot inch whatever tall.

ok it really started off with me making the card on top, which in the end, it came out as a scrapbook aka letter hahas. love it. I love my brain for coming up with this. So yea, all well that ends well. We totally talked. I cant believe it though. Like talking doesnt exist in our dictionary HAHA! sorry yew, but thanks for everything. I love the movie. We dont have to name it already. There was only one movie for that day. Yeap. So go watch it already. I heart Anne hathaway with her polaroid camera after sex syndrome. Its like a girl doing the guy's job, sleep and run. :s But she takes berserk pictures. Cute

Anyway i received the best present ever. A........* drum rolls* hand made Tissue box*. i like! cause its so out of the world.

Can you believe it? Yeah i was shocked too. But inside this one and only in the world " Tissue box contains something that's really sweet. :> ( i have frikking no idea how you used the marker to write ._.) I love the watch too. And to reminisce back on our secondary school days, we took neoprints <3 Thanks for the home baked cookies and lovely flowers too!

Ok (: loves * xoxo*

have a great new year. At least, mine wasnt that great after all with the festive mood dampened by my 5 awesome boyfriends :( tsk.

sayonara<3

ps : i really like this pic (:

ga-in!!!! :>

< 3

this is me when i quarrel with you

all my "you"s are replaced with yew...

whats your secret?

soak up the caffeine

"if you know you can't sleep, don't force yourself to..insomnia can be beautiful.."

defying gravity

emotions are of ours to control, the sixty seconds you could be angry.. can always be traded for "genuine" happiness.

if you know, you'd know

“	I know people think I'm stupid, but I'm not dumb. I just let you and the other girls have your way because that's how you need it to be. But I think Carl's right, pretty soon we're all going to graduate and I can start over. But it'll be harder for the people who need this place to make themselves feel special. People who use high school to build themselves up and then find out that the real world doesn't care so much about who you were in high school. People like you.	”
	— Bevin Mirskey

Wake me up when june ends..

innocence

white lies

what are white lies?

because.. the other party will never see the truth the way you do?
or you tell a white lie.. such that when you close your eyes, your tears drift away

but you said you'r "ok"and dont worry about it.


one things for sure,

the only lies that are the hardest to be said are the white ones.


confession: i used to want to have a "le lies" webpage set up.. for those who said "ok" when they are not..so we could share on the forgone heartaches. those that shouldn have been categorised under the "white lies" section.

(:

taste like snowflakes..

like literally :>

<3

when things never change..

some people will always..
repeat their mistakes.. those that they are aware of..

what they aren't aware of is that..

they keep hurting those that try very hard not to take notice of it.

when i had something to lose, i had everything. When i stopped being who i am, i found myself.

chemistry like apple and cinnamon

sometimes, i just wanna feel. i dun wanna do. doing is one thing, feeling it is another...
i wanna feel then maybe actions can be spoken in replacement for words.

but i guess if you had ta "feel" for everything in your life, that emotion would be so overrated

so only rare significant moments, would you cherish them.

This semester, i can say safely so far, i have receive pleasing results that i thought i would never have gotten.


i realise that today, i can actually " now body lie on the floor".

if i want to. I really love contemporary in many ways that i cant explain. Sometimes, it makes my bad days go away just doing turns, across the floor, or whatever combination just glazing through is so beautiful. But techniques comes into the picture. So liting, you must, split by concert, and stretch everyday. With determination comes possibility.

Every monday> eves class to train basics and feel
then go for lyrical jazz to express in another medium (:

then at night, study and mug for my papers. Yes this will be my dilligent plan for the next few weeks including losing weight! hahahahahhahaha

cny around the corner :( you know all that goodies aint gold.

k off ta mug gaming! :>

i feel this strong sense of guilt like i did something gravely wrong and somehow it doesn't seem worthy of it. :( damn

dance with an open mind, and an open heart.

hey hey its 3 am! :> haha, the best time of the day?? or i would say night? hmm, i might just endure till i see the sunrise or something. hahas

Been pondering through about my setbacks and achievements for this whole semester, i can only say one word for sure." Sacrifices" sometimes just come knocking at your door and you just have to open it without a choice. Kinda anxious for tomorrow though, gonna know my cruise results :( the overall plus the group project break down? Its kinda scary especially when almost a high percentage of the report content is contributed basically by none other than the person typing right now. Stress meter is high. Really gave my all this semester, especially since the results i need is crucially important? ( hahas at least for me, i know the reason why) its do or die :<> ( this gets me jitters all the time) But if there's a will there will always be a way!

And approximately around yesterday? hahas i went for zaihar's and eve's class. Its great to be back for eve's." you don't stop" (: sure did miss that. Reason for going for both classes fulfilled. I just wanna feel the music, i did and for one split second i didn need the mirror. Shall keep it a constant thing every monday! gonna start somewhere, some how cause there is a big room for improvement and im going to shift things in bit by bit. :D

hmm.. i have 19 more days to my first paper , who wanna be my study partner???? :> i got 5 papers :( but laday is so determine to thrash it out at the examination hall cause i gotta brace myself for a pretty eventful march i must say, paramore with MR DOODLE PANTS with our flanel promise! HAHA. Come out from the mountains! :> we should do ice cream already, fulfill your empty tub! GEMS concert? Finally made my decision, but then last min certain things changed, so i guess i will treasure the chance and go for modern auditions as well. Happy to bump into eulene! :D hahas The chat made my day better! (: jiayou k!

And i shall make it a point to jog jog jog jog! ( wait till my rashes get better first :( )

3 am officially is a great time to write my thoughts. HAHA :> ALRIGHT gaming notes here i come! shall revise through casino marketing so i can at least get it and not fall asleep for tomorrow's revision lecture.

Tweet tweet ( 3.25 am)

the words passive and passion come from the same Latin root, pati, which means "to endure."