Miss independent

i really dont understand myself. Sometimes when i pull through a really tough phase, especially by myself or alone.. i will grow stronger and have this mindset or realization that i really do not need anyone actually to help me, to motivate me or just support me, cause afterall looking back.. i still did it by myself, didn't i?

and its always by myself solely

and i will start to hate myself for thinking that way.. ttm


suddenly i dont feel like studying anymore and just fuck care my papers
..


really you could have done all these :

call me to ask how was my studying.. talk to me to destress, tell me you missed me and all the things that we could do after the holidays. But you didnt we are back to square one, ( i said those things )where you will sleep.. and i will get on living my life in the day. studying, looking at my phone, hoping you would take the initiative to text, and not " jiayou, all the best for the test later" and that's it. it makes me feel like, you know in a day, thats all you can say to me. This time, i really took the initiative and keep asking you what you were doing despite my crazy mugging.

yea.. im really a lousy girlfriend aren't i?

bye