oh yes. i havent been here for eons again. HAHAHHA (: sorry. pardon the lack of leyciaish gibberish that doesnt make any single sense in this century. i refuse to do anything productive today right now as im sitting on the chair with my lunch on the desk. just nothing. i wanna chill this day off cause out of 365 days in the calender, this one should just pass off as one of those " non-busy, grab your shoe and zhao, never pack socks, run to recital training, mrt to clementi then back to the east days". period. so this will be 1/ 365 im willing to slack it off and do nothing. just one day cause my body doesnt wanna get too accustomed to it. ^-^
i woke up funny today, especially after yesterday's fulldress run. it got me thinking, " no mistakes= perfection?" This sentence ( well not grammatically of course) can be interpreted in so many ways. ho hum. In studies, everyone make mistakes but you learn from them and then dont make them again( but half of the time, or rather in my case, most of the time, i do commit them again) but " its of human to err" is the lousiest excuse when you stick to your stand in front of a perfectionist. just doesnt work that way for dance. You've got only one shot on stage. one shot to make it right. And sometimes, when i screw it up, and when the lights black out after the whole item ends, the feeling is, " shit, i screwed it up, that wasnt my best" and then i guess for some dancers out there, do tear it silently inside or show it on the outside. Well everyone have their limits. Speaking in many or rather trying to put myself in many high cuts yankees nike dunks, i feel like that too. just plain demoralised that you didn do your 110%. "The audience is stupid" thats what ryan always says. But, thats not an excuse either. just cause they are plain stupid ( well not literally) cause humans love love love WITH THE CAPITAL L to judge with what they see on the first visible layer of their eyes. ive decided to work on it.
There comes a point of time when you sit by a bench in an empty park, you close your eyes and then your life flashes right before you. just right there, and you see images, pretty marred lines of what you can grab hold of in your past just playing on repeat like an old rickety rocking chair that doesnt stop its motion. You want it to be fabulous when you press the pause button right there. No matter which scene, which image, you know that image of life, at that point of second you paused your lifetape, its still beautiful. So i guess, on stage, yes no mistakes= perfection cause you have to do it right, but when you screw it up, suck it in. Cause nobody teaches you to make that mistake. They only teach you not to make it. You have taught yourself how to learn from your mistakes the moment you actually make it.
So im going to start teaching myself stop harping on mistakes. Then stop it the moment i make it and tell myself, there there... one lesson like this is more than enough. you have many more ahead of you to start not to "teach" yourself with.
ps: my camera isbeing a baby, playing dead with its usb "like its umbilical cord hanging around." update on my trip to JP and NYC, the next post when i fix its faulty brain. loves
i woke up funny today, especially after yesterday's fulldress run. it got me thinking, " no mistakes= perfection?" This sentence ( well not grammatically of course) can be interpreted in so many ways. ho hum. In studies, everyone make mistakes but you learn from them and then dont make them again( but half of the time, or rather in my case, most of the time, i do commit them again) but " its of human to err" is the lousiest excuse when you stick to your stand in front of a perfectionist. just doesnt work that way for dance. You've got only one shot on stage. one shot to make it right. And sometimes, when i screw it up, and when the lights black out after the whole item ends, the feeling is, " shit, i screwed it up, that wasnt my best" and then i guess for some dancers out there, do tear it silently inside or show it on the outside. Well everyone have their limits. Speaking in many or rather trying to put myself in many high cuts yankees nike dunks, i feel like that too. just plain demoralised that you didn do your 110%. "The audience is stupid" thats what ryan always says. But, thats not an excuse either. just cause they are plain stupid ( well not literally) cause humans love love love WITH THE CAPITAL L to judge with what they see on the first visible layer of their eyes. ive decided to work on it.
There comes a point of time when you sit by a bench in an empty park, you close your eyes and then your life flashes right before you. just right there, and you see images, pretty marred lines of what you can grab hold of in your past just playing on repeat like an old rickety rocking chair that doesnt stop its motion. You want it to be fabulous when you press the pause button right there. No matter which scene, which image, you know that image of life, at that point of second you paused your lifetape, its still beautiful. So i guess, on stage, yes no mistakes= perfection cause you have to do it right, but when you screw it up, suck it in. Cause nobody teaches you to make that mistake. They only teach you not to make it. You have taught yourself how to learn from your mistakes the moment you actually make it.
So im going to start teaching myself stop harping on mistakes. Then stop it the moment i make it and tell myself, there there... one lesson like this is more than enough. you have many more ahead of you to start not to "teach" yourself with.
ps: my camera isbeing a baby, playing dead with its usb "like its umbilical cord hanging around." update on my trip to JP and NYC, the next post when i fix its faulty brain. loves
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