In three more days im flying to hong kong. but why does it feel like i just wanna stay here for a little while. just spent some time to myself ( i dont have to pack my luggage, iron those clothes, get ready for something)yet at the same time i wanna get out of here. Dont wanna get ready for anything yet. just sublime to the lazy walls.
I feel really tired these few days. probably its one setback after another, when you pave a path for someone, you become selfless, and when that person reaches a dead end or feels lost for directions, he/she becomes selfish, and you have to be more selfless to guide that person, produce productive efforts because in certain situations, they may even judge your ability to provide the best directions to the right route. i feel like that, for this whole month. I use to think yknow, smile it off, laugh yourself silly and tomorrow's gonna be a better day cause when you kinda reach 19 going to the big two O, everything becomes more surreal,its probably why i hit the books, something more naive and innocent for me to exploit then it exploit me compared to the world out there, where you put on a tie, wear your coat and hit the briefcase and off you go to be devoured.
nifty tricks, but ive got none. its not blonde to be stupid and naive, if there was a world in my head, people should be less selfish.
everyone is attracted to something new, but i wanna stay loyal to something, and maybe that determination always gets me somewhere. i can see it already. just let me have it, and i will be contented. if i have that world, i will live my dreams big.
nevertheless, im thankful my two limbs, two eyes, white face, body intact anatomy allows me to dance.They said optimism is so important from 20 onwards,i think i need some of that now. An angel would be sweet.
i have suntec, yog, recital,uni all to worry about. Other than dancing, im just a normal girl, not perfect, not flawless, just plain normal person. living. so thank god for dance, even if it fails me, i kinda found it and just wanna hug it tightly.
slumber time
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