Slept at 1 and its 4.45am now, i think i woke up at 4 am just to do some last min studying for intro leisure which i gave up on over dance the night before.Nothing gets into my head.Geez and to think that i have so many dreams recently.

Just last night, i dreamt that i crashed samm's school and she had these huge bruises on her face.Asked her why but she didnt reply me and i thought it was some sort of abuse from someone else. :/ Oh god who in the world dreams of such things.The best of all, i dreamt of performing on the stage and some person whom ive forgotten for a while was seating at the seats looking straight at me.Bits and pieces.

Ive done so much reflecting recently.Its like when you reach the limit of stress, theres simply nothing you can do about it.You will just fall sick and then recover thats all.No ones there to tell you you will get better because everyone's going through the same situation.

My schedules for everyday is just like a closet.Squeeze whatever you can in it before it topples down and falls on you.It doesnt help when you have to choose between going home to complete your work or head for that studio where you will just get so demoralised when you leave.Ive officially reached that Grey area in dance(white when im clean in my steps,black when im not stepping it up on time and my groove and control are all wrong) and no ones there to help me or tell me how to move on from here so i can do better.My dance is Blurry and Smudgy.Fck

i could really use one of those heart to heart talks now.

L.O.V.E;Oh yes everybody needs a little of it here and there.
Because it makes you laugh a little,
Cry a whole lot,
Skip a heartbeat
and be faithful to the other person.

I think thats what i lack, i dont have the commitment to do so. I will most likely be a chuck bass in the making.So if you question me what my love is, i can most likely do without the butterflies in my stomach and tell you i dont need a man in my life now.(notice it's man and not boy)Oh yes, at the end of the day, no matter how hard it is or the countless terrible encounters you've met theres still a somebody you can call,somebody's shoulder to lie on and cry out to.

Tell you what, im so over it.

I cant see how lovey dovey two can get when your 18, tell me more about your love when your like.....23? Maybe i might go for your story.For now, your just going after for the looks, the flings and the flirts.Scandalous i must say, but its all the fun your risking with your heart.Thats the way the teenage years should be anyway.And if you dont agree, date an ugly girl and tell me you love her so wholeheartedly.Some boys are bullshit really.

I think i could go for an eternal loyalty to Passion instead. That is something that i can commit to;something i can relate to at the end of each day.If you were to ask me to choose between a handsome young man and dance, my answer is definitely dance.Because it doesnt cause a heartbreak to happen neither does it deceive.Its so indescribable that even love cannot compete.You wont understand unless you've found your passion and im so thankful i've found mine.

Im really starting to hate liars around here.Totally hates deception.Its something i wont forgive anyone.

MADE OF HONOUR WAS AWESOME (:
Albeit the splitting headache yesterday, i still had lotsa fun watching the movie, mixing M&MS in the popcorn box so we could look for it among the popcorns ! hahas Dude your the best bitch in town :D

Headaches are really frustrating. I could literally felt something throbbing in my head.In the taxi, i was like this close to vomitting already.Learnt my lesson, never go on a movie date if you have a splitting headache.

It's saturday hahas and i actually rescheduled my jap test :/ because i didnt had time to study for it till on the day itself. Sorry Mr Ando sensei hahas, hes sucha a sweet dedicated teacher; but apparently i always disappoint him.Nothing's going into my brain as i scribble and doodle on my inter 2 textbook.I keep daydreaming about how long more will i have the chance to perform on that stage when all my sweat and effort that goes with the passion can be released in such a beautiful performance within 3 hours. Sian. How to concentrate? I must set my priorities already; R.O.M deadline is pressing in.But the best thing i have now are my wonderful groupmates (: Love them. I really wanna go overseas to study ! Mom is so against that idea; just this morning she showed me this newspaper article regarding the Queen Margaret University from Edinburgh,United Kingdom.The campus is now available in the local.Best of all they have the Tourism course. How now, Brown cow?

So many memories when i hear this;

if its abstract, you know i simply adore it ;

and i give you only the raw negatives.

Photography; i love

BATMAN AND ROBIN (: wee! and we set off for a MINTY day :D

EMO NEMO " new collection "

well, this is all i can post because im not done with my assignment; will release the rest when im done with it.

Perseverance is in the air;

ps: 2010 cant wait!

“To thine own self be true..little jenny humphrey”

Oh , You scandalous desire that i cant yearned enough for.

Give me the Gossip...

If in a day,evrything can change so much;
In a year, i will be seeing a very different person.

And who's gonna be there to see my changes, i cant wait to see.
But i will cherish those that i have now.
If thats what he wants me to do even though as reluctantly i do not want to;
I will do the best out of it.

Count your blessings people;because we are always taking advantage of everything.
Some people influence us in such extraordinary ways; i cant seem to tell.
Real friends are such amazing gifts.

To Samantha;
Our friendship has certainly earned its worth even though there were so many ups and downs but we pulled through.8 years may be short but its still counting (: You'r always there for me when i need a call or even at times i cry like im about to hyperventilate, you'r always there to hold my hand and pull through this. The world has so many commitments, You have so many pebbles in your path so have i; but we can get rid of all this if we stick together .

To Derrick;
Thanks for always being so understanding in so many matters.My scheldule is always ever so mega-packed that we have so little time to meet up :/ But you know i will always try my very best to even come up with an outing within a month.School's like venus flytrap, it sucks out all the sap of me. Hope i have been a good "entertainment girlfriend" to you hahas (: Still remember your " im chased out of the house" days hahahs! Thanks for your constant :
" Please do not exhaust yourself !" i will try my very best to.

To Carolyn;
ha! You indo meena (:
I can talk to you about anything, even fried omelette at lau pa sar ( we better have a dinner outing soon ).With the same birthday, i guess on certain things we really think alike. Your " loud" character makes you so perky. Even if im tired, talking to you sure brightens my day.I know your going through some rough patches now;im sure you will see a solution to it because your a very strong girl you know that.Your one of those friends that i do not meet often yet we can never run out of topics to say or even drift apart when we meet each other after eons. Wedding to be attend in the future; your gonne be one of my 7 bridesmaids.Love you.

To Charlene;
Your so special you know that ! You do all the little things that makes my day! Our friendship may be very short however i really do feel like we've known each other for years. Not to mention that you live 8 floors diagonally down under.(: Your card really made me felt much better. Having to wear a formal suit to arab street with a sore throat and the undesirable hives that wont go away after a week; i finally broke down last night after reading your message.Yes, a good" cry" really made me felt much better.We better have a baking session and dance lesson soon aite?

To Yunn & Audd;
Yes, some matters i do not want to ta talk about it but i know you guys done that because you guys do not want to lose me as a very good friend. The chemistry that all three of us have is unreplaceable. I want you to know that im not some shallow person who cant take that fact.5 years, even through the toughest time i had you guys were there for me. What makes you think i wont be able to accept it? I will try my very best to.You and audrey are very important to me.I still remember the days we had at airport where we can talk about anything under the sun,the long bus rides and the stayovers with baking sessions and so much more.Nothing can ever replace that.

With that, i just wanna say a very big" thank you" to these people who have came into my life and played a very big part in it.You guys are miracles.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road your trudging seems uphill,

When the funds are low,and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down abit,

Rest if you must,but dont you quit.

Success is failure,turned inside out

The silver tint of clouds of doubt,

and you can never tell how close you are,

it may be near but it seems afar,

So stick to the fight when your hardest hit

___

Its when things go wrong that

You musnt quit.

I cannot tell you how happy i was when i read the card you slot under my doorstep.I really tried to suppress all my emotions within these few weeks; even to the extend of being so pretentious in the way i act. Im becoming this person who keeps everything to herself and doesnt let her real feelings show. Its ugly i know; but i just realise some people we really cant trust.Yet, i can cry at this point of time knowing that im really at wits end towards all the negatives i have in hand.Its been so easy around in the past,now im exhausted. Really tired to run this mile. Even on the train, i kept thinking whats the point of even trying when things just dont go your way.
Charlene, im so glad your living so near to me. This world is cruel and harsh; without your encouragements, its really hard to go on.No matter how hard i cry, i have to wake up the next morning and go on with the usual routines hoping with every bit that it may turn out better.Still, it hasnt.
Im tired, never been this tired before.It shows.

Tell me how i can continue from here, cause for the very first time i do not know what i want anymore.

BYE 1K08(TP) HELLO 2K04 (TAS)(:
Breaking the Deafening silence,I finally went back into the realms of heaven again. Latin Hiphop has hit the spot and so did JK pop.I love my current class and my group mates. Well at least i really wanna get through this sem with a 3 point GPA and happy memories to keep.Watch over me (:

Next week, we wil be visiting SISTER'S ISLAND (: HA how cool is that.
I really dont wanna get stranded :/ and MINT MUSEUM OF TOYS DERRICK !!! :D
I promise i will update even more when i change my blog skin, this fcking blogskin limits the amount of words and pictures i can post.

OK full formal tmrow :/ under the blazing bitch sun.

On a super random note: Gossip girls latest episode is DOPE especially the ending fcking shock me man. REPLAY AND REPLAY and i stil get the spooks hahas (:
WATCHAY!!!!

lights out;