"You know it’s been said that we just don’t recognize the significant moments of our lives while they’re happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it’s usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you’ve realized how wrong you’ve been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it.."

These words dont come easy

one sentence with so many meanings.. how do you interpret it?

when you are angry, happy, sad, with anxiety...

all words that seems right falls at the wrong timing.
and all words that seems wrong came at the right timing.

i will feel the remaining pieces and take whatever thats left with me.

有的人说不清哪里好..但就是谁都替代不了....

(:

words i couldn say to you

Good bye rouge venomity.

here's where everything is done leycialy

im sorry

i should have been better in most ways, but i didn.
so its time to leave.

we didnt had time like others could.

i tried to create memories, but as time passes by.. they became unhappy ones, cause i chased them to form..
slowly... i begin to feel you are getting tired of it..
i have demanded so much from us within 5 short months

i fall as hard i try..
so forgive me.

from this moment onwards, i will set you free.
like how i wll set time free.

i fall as hard as i try..

press on

i will get through this period.. no matter how tough and difficult it is...

wipe my tears, heart stop hurting, back to my spa notes.

you know if you were busy and couldn talk to me, i was gonna be fine with it because i understood that long ago. But the thing is i hate it when you assume. Assume that u were going to affect me with my exams just by texting ? Then the whole day you dont reply. So how about or rather what if, its super stressful and i have so many papers everyday.. go on and assume that we will quarrel, thinking that my feelings are like that, you build this person in your head and made her me. All this happens because you dont trust what i tell you. I thought we cleared that issue cause im being honest right now and i dont get that response back.Now look at the situation, it became like this because you didn text and simply i really dunno if you just went back to not texting because you keep saying that you are insensitive and you are " just like that". You know, if i was really worth it, you would change that for me. Because i did tried my best to change after we talked, especially taking the initiative.All those words you wrote to me in the tissue box, there were for show? Or are they really for real?.. Trust, you mention it, i took it in.

TRUST

You left me here really thinking that you had so much going on but no who's the one still fighting with school now? I find this really pointless cause its not the first time. And i was really more of exhausted with examination than to be angry with you, but you said i needed to calm down. So how about you tell my emotions what to do and i will leave you to manipulate however you want me to feel?

thanks. I thought we really could solve this issue just between me and you but no we couldn. Sometimes it feels like im dating someone who just dont trust my words and assume that i dont need you.. i will tell you how it feels for these past few days...

it feels like i dont have a boyfriend at the times when i needed him to be there to push me on to persevere. You may not know how tiring it has been, but all you had to do was simple, be there for me. Are you going to argue now that you did said good luck and all, im really not referring to those surface lines cause that wouldn make you any difference from any of my friends.

its really not just this.. you and i know it. All these little things build up and accumulate and became a significant evidence to your lack of trust for me which results in me losing trust in us.

How about once and for all, we say " game over" in making an ass out of u and me cause i really cant take it anymore .. if being together is so difficult for you to trust me.. then let's end it.

crying, studying, and memorizing facts when your exam is tomorrow.. dont go well together.
fuck.. i really wanna fly away now..

get away from everything..
or rather i really just wanna disappear.