(:

my man

i love yew

if possible, this is how long i want it for us.
but who's to say it will last?

寂寞寂寞就好

this is how i feel when i give this piece of advice :" you should give time, time.." but whenever it happens to me,i never ever heed my own advices though :/

love this song (: it says everything.

2010-2011

upcoming events, need to stay organised (: phew so much going on so i need to stay focus and work hard, dance hard as well..

Fb production- watching at 17 and 18 december
sunshine's 21st -18 december Preppy theme
Cousin's wedding 24th-25th December
RUDOLFUCKYEAH- 25th december
Vetting for Danzation- 26th December
Audition for Choreographer's for Gems audition - 30th december ( anger hiphop- *BIG headache*)
On the same day 30th december : countdown performance : eve's recital item scape
Sophia's 21st- 2 jan Masquerade theme
School reopens - 5th Jan ( 4 modules TO conquer)
Danzation Production - dancing 7th &8th january
Yew's P.O.P date on 8th Jan
Trainings for SDD- every saturday from now onwards
SDD- February http://www.dancedelight.sg/ 59 more days..
Semester ends 25th march
EXAMS
GEMS 6- in April

i know. i know. what your thinking at e back of your head, juggling school, dance all at the same time, my health is going to go down again.

time to stock up on the vitamins. next sem is no joke with commercial law, prices and markets, bus stats and mgt acc will drive me crazy.

better buck up leycia. you dont have much time.
so MANY EVENTS CLASH. :(

happened to read up on this HAHAHAH

"Many women push themselves too hard to do something that can wait until another day. They seem to get into situations that created more stress than could really be handled, placing unnecessary physical and emotional strains on themselves as well as others.

Why do we do these things? We either fail to realise or don’t want to believe that it is physically impossible for us to accomplish everything we task ourselves (or have been tasked) with. To stay mentally and physically healthy, we need to learn how to better manage our time. It has been said that the best way to manage your time is to prioritise and delegate."

HAHA fcuk man so true. i have fallen into the superwoman's trap. :/

off for a tann and swim with my bestie samm <3>

SUPERWOMAN NEEDS A BREAK TOO!✈

Faith is spelt with you and me

im with a simple guy but im a complicated minded girl. but i want to be contented, i want you to be happy too. i want to work towards my goals, i wanna work towards our goals too. I just want what's best for you,what's best for us.. so from now on, we are going to be strong cause despite everything against you and me, i still believe in us.

thinking back, ive got all that i wanted before i started out in this route, i had nothing, i wasnt a dancer, i found someone i love who loves to dance, i found many friends, involve myself in competitions , performances and productions and found a goal to work on.

most importantly, i found my passion. some people come around, and they dont find it, but i did.

wanna be BFAB. cause you give respect to the boombox thats given birth to you. (:

thankful. blessed and happy. 2010 thank you!

DIG this video and song alot. (:

well the thing is, my faith says its time i come out of my shell and kill this social stigma thats been going around for way too long in dance.. cause its time, i do something about it already. gonna prove that i can, and i can do this. must STOP. feeling. insecure.

Gonna bring this piece to the stage. dedicate it. must kill it at audition. nuff said.

SDD, GEMS CONCERT, DANZATION. SEM 2 HERE I COME.

till april, i hope i survive. i hope i dont collapse.
busy like a bumblebee but i still need my honey :D

honestly im quite worried about whats going on with my immune system nowadays. it hasnt been a smooth sailing year for my body. I know how stubborn i am. Wish i could really change this habit so that everything would be better, but really im trying to make changes now so that i have more time to spent with the family. As much as i know we aint that close that we can talk about our troubles as in those inner deep troubles where you watch on television and your mum hugs you and tell you everything will be ok? Doesnt happen in this family. Its something like i only get a hug and kiss when its my birthday. But i do remember having a goodnight kiss all the time when i was younger, wondered where that went and i forgot how i used to kiss my mum goodnight too when i was just a child. They say everything is much better when your younger, its true.

Yesterday, i headed to the science centre with lbf for the C.S.I experience which i was so hyped up for. Gotta thank god for him sometimes. I dont know why. Cant find a friend who used to be my ex, or rather i was his first love, we used to be enemies, we had a very bad broke up and things ended badly we didn contact each other for almost close to 4 years and then we found our way back to each other through gems concert. i remembered. something asked me to ask him to come to watch that concert, then we became friends again. Those really good friends where we could dig back all that old shit and talk about it and dont feel awkward at all. I had the best prom ever and the worst experience at secondary two with him creating a whole hoo ha, of accusation or assumption that didn even happen and well, i guess im gonna remember him for life as my arch enemy back then, even the fugging sitting plan for sec 4 had me and him placed together at the front row. HAHAHAHAH. wtf. but a switcheroo, and everything feels better now.

its good to have a person like this in your life, who have known you in all sorts of ways, as a girlfriend, as a friend and as an enemy. So i probably had his ego up a little too much if he ever read this post. but yeah, this post is for you. subtracked alittle, the C.S.I thing was really awesome. there were three crime scenes that you had ta gather evidence , and there was really a corspe ( fake of course) and the crime scene with evidence all left there for you to decipher, i really felt like a detective. :D dont mind going back there with yew, if he books out. ^-^ but travelling there is really a siaotingtongz.

dont wanna talk about how i ended my day at UWB showcase, but having able to witness the works of nappytabs is truly a blessing. The migraine just hadta fugging spoiled everything. whatever it is, yesterday had its fair share of ups and downs. just wanna document it down, ( i know not in a very orderly like i used to type out my thoughts kinda way) so that i can remember it vividly. im getting old and like i said at the beginning of my post, gastric migraines, fever flu, had its way to me this year, all within a month. its time i change up my schedule a little bit. off for my first tp training ever since i graduated. its gonna be awkward, but im going to just dance and fuck care all the socialising and talking. thank god i have sha and cheryl. still contemplating if i should do gems 6. we will see about that.

no one

i have alot inside i know i have been dying to say. Its been kept in there for a really long time ever since september till now. I just couldn tell it to anyone, because i felt that no one would understand, i felt that no one was able to sit down for one second, put down their cell phone, not think about anything else and just fucking focus at what i was saying, look me in the eye and just pay attention to every single bit of it. I just couldn find a companion the way i wanted my companion to be my composure. No one else comes close to how i used to feel about voicing out , now i cant tell to anyone at all.

this is how i feel: im going to pour it out once and for all now. i cant take it any longer. sometimes, it boils down to a point, i dont wanna say it because i know every "someone" out there i meet is fighting their own battle. i can never grab hold of their one dimension and sublime my bubble of troubles with theirs. i cant seek refuge in another's trouble bubble by not bursting it.

ever since university started, i felt that there was no one there to ever listen to how i feel. i just went to school, study, the way regimented has its own methods of getting up my sleeves, i felt boring, i felt like i am not doing what i like at all. This may be the last phase, but i believe that i hated the environment. I hated the people around me. i cant believe im saying this, but its true. Dont get me wrong, they are not mean people, i just felt, it was superficial bonding, people i know my questions i would asked will be on the surface, i will never be able to let them in or tell them how i truly feel because sometimes, the casual sarcasm jokes voiced across when a serious issue is mentioned, just got brushed off like that. its not that ive never tried, saying how i truly feel nowadays just doesnt WORK anymore. i keep EVERY single thing to myself. i dont even believe in telling them to my best friends.

Much less my dance friends, much less telling it to yew. The relationship is just one sided now. sometimes i get really tired. i know you dont take me for granted, i know i did mention i dnt get tired of travelling, because we dont have a choice. The only way for me to meet you is for me to travel all the way to bukit panjang to find you. The truth is, im really tired. I miss the time where you would come and find me, where we would hang out other places other than your house, i miss having dinner with you, i miss watching a movie, being able to hang out late on a sunday and never have you to book in, what i miss most is your INITIATIVE. its gone. This relationship, honestly is starting to become a burden to me. You asked me if its what i said was the truth the previous time, it was. i lied sorry. Im getting tired. I dont know why i cant tell you my problems now cause i know your weary, it becomes that i just listen to your field camp, i just sit and listen to your tired ness what you go through, it became all about you.

when was the last time, you sat down and hear about me? about how i feel, cause the last time i said something, you could only say sorry and tell me you feel guilty and ask me to stop saying. I cant tell you anything anymore. much less to audd or sy. because i know they are busy with their work. They have their troubles too. Then i see alot of my friends who have what they have now, but dont cherish and take it for granted, spoilt, and treat like whatever thats given to them is byright fair and comes easy and of not a big deal.

it fucking aint. I dont know why im so cooped up. I just cant find anyone else to talk about my troubles anymore. Even if i have, i just cant. i realised i have been fencing myself very deep in ever since yew enlisted, ever since my bestfriends started working and ever since uni begin for me. there, ive spit it out.

i dont believe im the same leycia anymore. there were many days, i cried myself to sleep and when i needed you to be there, you cant, and you will never appear, but when you needed comfort and when you need me the most, i will be there, because thats how this relationship survive, a flower surviving on a gardener's responsibility to water it. But the flower never ever wondered if the gardener is getting weary of doing so.

i just want someone to talk to, sit down and for once know whats really going on in my life. Especially this gastric incident, it just showed me who really cared, and who didnt. everyone is just so fucking selfish nowadays, the disappointment is not surprising anymore to take.

if one day, someone takes my hand, sits beside me and look me in the eye and tells me that :" i will be here to listen, or i will be here silent, you just have to let it all out"..i bet i wont know how to response, because there were too many fences build to fence myself in from such a person. he/she doesnt exist anymore.